The Done's and Don't-Ask's of DIY

Last year at this time, I'd shared with you all a list of DIY and craft projects I planned to accomplish during 2007... You know the ones: the Projects that Guilt.

But as any homeowner knows, intentions are NOT accomplishments when it comes to home improvement projects. If we could fix homes based on intentions, why, my garage roof wouldn't leak... Everyone's toilet would match their tub... And Ty Pennington would be out of a job.

But because I try to be an honest gal-- and because I must also secretly believe that salt + open wound = comfy-- well, I thought we'd just take a look back and see what actually got accomplished on that list from last year.

The first project cited was "The Plate Rail." You'll see here that I'd had plans to exchange this jumble of shelves in the kitchen for one long plate rail to display my Victorian transferware plates and other kitchenalia.

And phew! Plate rails, I have covered! Because what started as a new plate rail grouping in the kitchen...

Seems to have spread into the livingroom....

And then, the entryway...


It's like some piney organizational plague, isn't it? Some Martha-Stewart-Bob-Villa-bred communicable disease which swept the place.

So yes, it's safe to say, my plates have been thoroughly... er... railed in 2007. Check! Now let's move on...

To the Floor Border in my kitchen. This area had originally borne a black rubber bumper which, in spite of glue strong enough to attach tiles to the Space Shuttle, tended to peel itself away at random and stick lecherously to my leg as I did dishes. It was the Dirty Old Man of interior details.

It had to go.

I had already removed the offending border and planned to sand away the remaining glue and stain the wood underneath as one of my 2007 projects. So here is the Before picture....

And here is now:

Um, yeah.

Next!

In January of 2007, I'd also planned to address The Fall of the House of Usher style cracks in my dining room. These cracks were a result of my 100 year old front porch on the outer wall thinking that, after a century of being in one spot, it might be really nice to relocate a few feet to the right. Just for the change, you know, mix it up a little.

The porch got fixed and I spent weeks doing it up in full Victorian painted lady style. It's just beautiful! And the cracks?

Um, not so much. But being a fan of Edgar Allen Poe, I'm starting to think the cracks give it a certain air of mystery, don't you think? A sort of atmospheric, lived-in period feel and...

You're not buying it, are you?

(Sigh.) Just my luck to have bright readers.

FINE. So craft projects-- I'd had a couple of craft projects I'd planned to do in 2007. Like fix the painted flowers on this globe shade and...

(Ahem)

So WHAT was I DOING in 2007, anyway?!

Ah! THIS MIRROR! I did this mirror!

Originally, it was an inexpensive purchase from Junk for Joy in Jeannette, PA. And NOW...

Here it is-- a nice piece in my entryway. My entryway which is now aqua blue, I should mention, because that room got a bright new lick of paint. In actuality, 2007 was filled with a lot of wonderful projects and rewarding times-- like three cottage decorating swaps, some trash-t0-treasure chair reupholstery, two thrift giveaway gift baskets, and a mongo-big wrought iron garden trellis that took some serious Girl Power to get into place.

But even a public and apparently misguided blog post about future DIY plans sometimes isn't enough for us to get everything done on our lists. And you know what?

The house will still be there tomorrow. So for the new year, maybe a little prioritization, some determination and a lot of forgiveness are all we really need.

How about you all? What's on your list of things to do? Has anything hung on that list for WAY longer than you'd like?

Here's wishing you the best of each in 2008.

DIY Week, Part Deux

When last we left The Thrift Shop Romantic, our heroine was multi-tasking herself through a full-fledged DIY frenzy of thrills, chills and—yes!-- spills…

Experience the heart-pounding battle between human and wrought iron garden arch!

Discover how many times someone can plummet off a ladder before they learn better!

Thrill to decorative plates displayed in ways that aren’t even tacky!

Join us for this-- and more!-- in the exciting conclusion of… Whirlwind DIY Week!

(Hum theme music of your choice here.)

(Okay, you can stop humming.)

(Thanks.)...

Hi!

It’s been… interesting… this last week, between home projects and my Real Job. And yes, I am a little punchy. But I am also not flat-as-a-bug in the backyard.

Repeat: NOT flat-as-a-bug in the backyard.

Which I’m really excited about!

The reason I am NOT flat-as-a-bug in the backyard is because there is at least a point where even I draw the line in trying to do things myself. And that had a lot to do with a 150-pound garden arch.

You may recall last week, I was headed off to tackle a few million or so more tasks. Well, one of those was the 150-pound garden arch...

And I KNOW it weighs 150 pounds, because the box that the nice Fed Ex Man brought me says so.

Of course, I wasn’t necessarily worried about that at the time. Because the thing was in pieces, and thus, movable. So last weekend after I posted my blog and left you dear people, I ventured outside to put together this exciting piece of garden art.

I figured it would be in about three or four pieces and take me a half-hour—hour, tops-- and then I could get on to other things.

So I opened the box to inspect the pieces, and I saw this.

And this.

And this.

Oh, and these.

I revised my ETA for the finished arch.

So, I laid out all the parts and spent about two hours putting it together. Which honestly wasn’t bad. I had it in sections. And each of these I moved into place without a lot of trouble, and then connected it all together on the ground.

It was a beautiful arch, and I was feeling good.

But that was only because I was too stupid to think of physics.

You see, what I had neglected to take into account was that one average female, no matter how determined, cannot lift a 150-pound, seven-foot tall wrought iron archway into a standing position. It’s simple Garden Arch Physics.

Not, of course, that I didn’t try.

Oh, I tried crouching underneath it and balancing it on my shoulders and head. I tried, yanking it from above. I tried from the center. I tried from the end.

But up it would go about three feet and then… Clunk!

It quickly became my Arch Nemesis.

And it got me thinking about what the Egyptians did in cases like this. After all, the Egyptians built huge pyramids that have stood the test of time, without the benefit of all the technology we have today. I was fairly sure it involved pulleys and counterweights.

I mentioned this possibility to my friend Greg, of The Midnight Garden. But Greg reminded me that in addition to pulleys, he believed the Egyptians also used slave labor.

“How are you fixed for that in Pittsburgh?” he asked breezily.

Great. Thanks, Greg. Always insightful.

So what DO you do when you’ve spent several hours in outdoor futility and the slave labor market in your city isn’t exactly flourishing? Plus, you’ve already got bruises roughly the pattern of... oh.... wrought-iron trellis?

Why, you go indoors and climb ladders!

In this case, it was hanging my completed plate rails in the living room, as you see here.


I’m feeling pretty good about this, because not only have I been able to display a few more plates, but the plate rails are straight, and I only did a Wile E. Coyote off the ladder once!

Whirlwind DIY Week concluded with some planting in the backyard.

Here you see the addition of some dianthus/carnations, as well as some stepping stones and some woolly thyme. (It’ll look better once I get some new wood chips in there.)


So that’s what I’ve been up to. The arch is on its way to being in place (I HAVE actually managed to get a buddy to help, I just need to level out that area of the yard a little).

And best of all-- and I can't say it enough-- I am NOT flat-as-a-bug in the backyard.

I’ll call that a success.

Next week: what do you do when you’ve got a half business-related swing concert to attend, you want to look professional yet fun...

AND you’re supposed to meet the band, who’s actually a bit of a favorite of yours?

Join me as we see what it’s possible to thrift and still not embarrass one’s self in front of business contacts AND “Big Bad Voodoo Daddy”...

Hope to see you then. Later, alligator!

A Few Small Repairs

To mix things up a little, this week I thought I’d share the projects I’m about to attack for early 2007. You know the sorts of things-- the ones that nag at you… just a little… every time you look at a particular area of your home.

If they had eyebrows, these projects, they’d arch one at you, as if to say, “So we’re finally ready to get around to ME, are we?”

These are those projects. The projects that Guilt.

The plate rail
The arrangement on my kitchen wall grew organically, largely because when I began decorating, I had absolutely no idea I was powerless to resist a good, cheap Victorian whiteware plate. The little shelves up there helped, and while I’m not a stickler for things actually matching, I’ve grown to believe the unmatching shelves in this case draw attention AWAY from the plates, to the fact that the shelves don’t, well, match.

So this will be the solution. I hope. A couple of long plate rail shelves from Michaels. I’m going to add this William Morris-style trim to them, and stain them in Minwax Provincial, to match my lower cabinets.

And to help with this project, I got a stud finder for Christmas and everything. (Add appropriate off-color joke of your choice here.)



Floor border
Note, the lack-of. And why? Well, there WAS one, all right. But it was black and rubbery and peeling itself off of the wallboard. The irony of this is it that it was also coated with tubs of horrible sticky glue that, while apparently not enough to adhere it to the wall any longer, it was PRECISELY enough to attach itself firmly to my leg or sock every time I did dishes. So after one final dramatic sockless incident, I decided we had to part ways, the rubber floor border and I. But I do admire it for its spunk. On its way out, it did manage to stick to the floor, me, the stove, me, the garbage bag, me, and probably escaped long enough to bond with a few garbage collectors for good measure. Poor dears.

My plan for this area now is to remove the remaining goo, and stain this baby to match the rest of the kitchen so it will be subtle, discreet. Then add a small finishing bit of trim to the bottom. Plain wood is preferable to black rubber and socklessness any day, don’t ya think?

The House of Usher quality in my diningroom
These cracks bother me. A lot. They occurred when the pillars of my 100+ year old porch decided that after all those years, it might be so much NICER to move just a little bit closer to next door.

My new porch pillars so far are, thankfully, well-behaved and enjoy their view-as is. So I plan to prevent further ominous wall crumbling by spackling and then painting the room a nice antiquey cream. (If anyone has a nice shade of antiquey cream paint they’ve used and can recommend, I’d be glad to hear of it.)


Globe lampshade
I bought this lampshade at “Junk For Joy” in Jeannette, PA, knowing it needed a little flower-fixin’ but figuring it had potential since the glass itself was in good shape. This is not an emergency. But if I do not do it soon, it won’t get done. I don’t even imagine it will take long. So this has made the list.




Mirror
Mirror refurbishment? Gesso! (That’s what I’ve been told to use to fill in the missing bits, anyway: gesso.) This was another “Junk for Joy” find-- I think it was $3-- and I’d like to see how far I can get it from being shabby to becoming chic. If it works out, I may put it in my entryway. Time will tell.

Two paintings
I have two “inside joke” paintings I plan to paint for two different friends. What I may lack in artistic skill, I hope to make up for in the element of surprise and whimsy. If these turn out all right, they will be a source of great humor and merriment. If they don’t work out… well, they’ll still cause humor and merriment, I imagine, but not for the same reasons.

Mystery project
What happens when you take three arts-and-crafts tiles and put them together with a salvaged window shutter? Ahhhh… wait and see, my friends. Wait and see...

So there we have it.
Any one of these projects is in the queue this year, for good or bad. We’ll see what happens to them together, I think.

In the meantime, take care, fellow crafters, thrifters and collectors-- and I’ll see you next Monday when...

...You know those framed hand-painted cameo portraits on ivory that go for big bucks in antique stores and auctions? Um, yeah, we won’t be talking about those. We can’t afford that... exactly...

Stay tuned.