Getting Bossed Around by 1003 Household Hints and Work Savers

1948 was fraught with potential perils-- many of them right in your very own home!...

At least, that's the way it seems in this vintage booklet, 1003 Household Hints and Work Savers. From making the most of your vegetables, to dressing on a budget, and cleaning your house, this book tells you how to avert the disaster that lurks around every corner.... And with an excessive amount of exclamation points, so you know they're serious!!!

So come with me today, as we get warned... curtailed... lectured... and overly punctuated...

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• Bulging ends on tin cans signify real danger! The food inside is spoiled and poisonous. Don't open the can!

(Ack! RUN-- that can of creamed corn, it's gonna blow!)

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• Don't you throw that bacon rind away! Clean, then save it for flavoring soups and vegetables.

(Yes, MA'AM!)

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• Can't afford whipped cream? Nonsense! Light cream will whip if you will spend a little time.

(But I've got a thousand-and-three things to do and-- no, no, I'm not arguing with you. Fine, I'll do it.)

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• Don't pour milk or cream down the drain simply because it has turned sour! In the first place, if the cream is just turning, you can restore it to sweetness by adding a pinch of baking soda. If it's really sour, use it as topping for soups, in salad dressings, gravies and in baking.

(It sounds so tempting, doesn't it? Spoiled cream with baking soda in it... yum.)

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• Never-- oh, never, never!-- use soda in cooking green vegetables. It increases loss of vitamins-- and even if the vegetable looks pretty, it won't mean much with important food-value gone.

(So, um, never?)

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• No one need know you scorched those vegetables! Just set the pot in a pan of cold water and let it stand for 15-30 minutes. Don't scrape the bottom of the pot.

(Well, everyone knows now that you put it in your darned book, lady.)

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• Who's too proud for day old bread! It's not only cheaper and just as nourishing, but actually better for the teeth and gums, according to experts.

(Should go so nicely with my spoiled cream and baking soda.)

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• Many of the potato's most valuable vitamins and minerals are in the skin itself. Don't waste it-- eat it!

(Tell me, were you a drill sergeant in the war, by any chance?)

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• Not all in one lump, please! Keep raisins, citrons, currants or other fruits evenly distributed throughout your cakes by dusting them with flour before mixing them in your batter.

(Flour-crusted citrons-- my favorite!)

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• Be smart, be thrifty-- be a wardrobe magician! Plan clothing purchases to get extra service from each item in the ensemble.

(Hocus pocus and... poof!-- Giant shoulderpads!)

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• Wait, lady, wait! Before you buy that new dress, consider the possibilities for later restyling!

(Who are you and how did you get into my dressing room?)

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• If you drive a car, get in on the side nearest the wheel, instead of scraping along the whole seat until you worm your way into position, thus wearing out the seat of your fur coat.

(Yes, but you haven't really lived until you've scooched across the entire front seat in mink, dahling.)

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• Oh, them golden slippers! And the silver ones too! Applying a careful dabbing of gold or silver paint, respectively, will make them glamorously new again.

(I will wear my painted shoes with my rump-worn fur coat.)

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• Don't even think of discarding your tan shoes because you don't like the worn-out color! Give them a coat or two of good black shoe dye and there you are with an extra pair of shoes.

(Am I the only one here who see bad things afoot when the rains come?)

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• Warning! To protect your rubber swim cap, wash it thoroughly, dry, and cover with a little talcum powder or corn starch inside and out. Then store in a cool dry place.

("Beverly, you really need to do something about that dandruff." "Oh, no Marge, that's not dandruff. That's corn starch. I just forgot to rinse my bathing cap.")

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• Be good, sweet maid, and clever, too... by making a snug, warm coat out of a worn blanket... by changing a retired chenille bedspread into a short beach coat or a long house coat.

(Honey?... What happened to the bedspread?... Oh. I see. You're wearing it.)

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• To clean door knobs without injuring the wood finish behind them, cut cardboard shields to fit around the door knob and key plate. Then go to it!

(I guess this isn't one of the "time saver" activities then. "What are you making there, Suzie?" "Oh, I'm just cutting out some shields for around the doorplates...")

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• Don't shake your dust mop out the window of you want your neighbors to love you! Tie a paper bag around the mop head and shake vigorously. Then throw bag and dust away.

(Did you know the famous feud between the Hatfields and the McCoys all began because of a dusty mop?)


Well, I think that's enough hints for today. Anyway, I just got a warning from the Punctuation Police-- I've reached my exclamation point limit for the entire year. (I probably shouldn't have tossed them into the mix in one lump. I really should have separated them with flour.)

• If you have a moment and are interested in checking out last Treasure Box Wednesday, as Halloween sidles across the mantle, click here.

Otherwise, perhaps I will see you again on this Wednesday, when we take a look at some newly thrifted finds.