Nefarious Knitting with McCall's

Okay, so, Spinnerin Knits may have thought they had the "Most Bizarre and Creepy Modeling for a Knitting Catalog" category all sewn up, in the 1960s Weird Crafting Competition. But McCall's really had some purls-- er, gems-- of their own. Like in this "McCall's Knitting Book 4" from 1968...

From the very front cover, we have a sense that 60s strangeness might lie within. Here we have big sister Marcia Brady with little sis, Jan. Marcia smiles vacantly with dreams of being high school student council president, but Jan may have other plans.

I mean, am I the only one that gets the impression young Jan has more on her mind than comfy cardigans here?

Does she not look like she's, perhaps, gotten a bright idea for a little, um, sibling rivalry revenge, maybe?Can we really prove that very Brady football to the nose was an accident? Or did Jan spend a year's allowance on a little brotherly bribe?

Only time and mysteriously missing footage will tell!

Inside the book, one of the first things I spied was this ad for a different McCall's instruction magazine-- this one "Needlework & Crafts." And there were a couple of things that just seemed "off" to me...

First is why Mom here appears to be animatronic...
And then there are the Toychests from Hell...

Who's dad-- Charles Manson? Gomez Addams? What kind of parent paints tiki-mask versions of cuddly animals on little Suzy's toy boxes?

I mean, what do you tell the kid:

"Ah, if you don't put your toys away, Mr. Fangy-man on your toy chest will be angry. And you don't want Mr. Fangy-Man to be angry, do you, Suzy?"

Somehow I don't think the cost of therapy is going to balance out with the amount of money they saved with this do-it-yourself paint project.

The toybox may have already gotten to young Mary here...

Something about this kid's expression makes me nervous. Like she's saying, "No, the house just burned down. It was an accident. Nothing to do with me. I just don't know why the nice Mr. Fireman found that lighter in my room. And a gasoline can. And that C4. And that nitro glycerine."
Of course, Mom is one of the Stepford Wives...

She's powered down right now, which is why she stares so. And why she's in what looks like an uncomfortable, unnatural position. But don't worry. She doesn't feel a thing. We just oil her up now and then, give her a new battery, flip her switch and away she'll go.

And for our last photo... In case any of you were wondering what happened to Little Orphan Annie once she grew up...
Notice, she finally was able to get the cornea operation to help her eyeballs look more like other peoples'. Her Sandy, however, went on to train as a seeing-eye dog and help other children without irises and pupils.


Hope you got a chuckle from eyeballing this week's post. See you Wednesday, when the Treasure Box opens on the latest thrifted fun.

10 comments:

Frank Lee MeiDere said...

You're right. Creepy stuff. And why is that kid with the toy box wearing only one red boot? What happened to the other? Did one of the fangy-things eat it?

Heidi Ann said...

You totally crack me up.

Jenn Thorson said...

Frank- It looks like Mr. Fangy-Man still has one of the boots. But Animatronic Mom seems less concerned about giving the kid Boot Two and more about handing her a hat.

Robot moms these days... really...

Heidi Ann- :) These craft books are just too strange not to share. :) Thanks for reading!

Sandy aka Doris the Great said...

So funny. And you're so right about those expressions.

Jennifer said...

Thanks for this post! It kept me laughing!! :-)

Janelle said...

Hilarious! There's a definite "Children of the Damned" vibe going on with that little girl in the bunny sweater.

Melanie said...

The little girl in the bunny sweater gives me the creeps.

Another great post!!! :)

Jenn Thorson said...

Sandy- It will be interesting to see how bizarre things from today look to us in another 40 years!

Jennifer- Always happy to hear that!

Janelle and Melanie- Yes, perhaps the child should have auditioned for the Omen. :)

Cape Coop said...

I have a few hundred knitting pattern books from the 30's through the 70's- they're all strange!

Idee Fixe (punk.glam.queen@gmail.com) said...

Bunny sweater girl the arsonist looks exactly like my ex-neighbors little boy (just chop off the ponytails)... who also happens to be demon spawn! (Thank goodness they moved, that kid is scary!) What I find pretty funny is that I have almost all the knitting books you've featured, well more like pretty scary!

Love your blog, I enjoy all of your posts very much!
Cheers!
Suzanne