Giggles over Wiggling, Jiggling Jell-O

"The Joys of Jell-O Gelatin are never ending."

That's what a thrifted recipe book-- " The New Joys of Jell-O" assures us. And certainly when you can make anything with it-- from the tantalizing jellied prune whip, to an antipasto salad that uses vinegar, salami and lemon gelatin-- well, you've pretty much got variety up the wazoo.


But the recipes weren't the actual reason I bought this book. I mean, sure, I could pluck the very most molded and gooey creations and scare everybody here silly with them, including myself. But it's time I grow up and demonstrate that I'm more mature than that...

So I'm going to make fun of the book's lifestyle shots.

"The New Joys of Jell-O" was set in the early 70s. A time where women were just beginning to re-enter the workforce. Where people of color were being featured more regularly on TV and in film. And where every housewife knew that when bringing a dessert, it was absolutely critical to match that dessert to one's outfit...

Like our neighbors here...


Nancy Neighbor is always showing off. Every get-together, it's all fancy Jell-O dessert and color-coordinated kaftan. She doesn't even really want to be here. Look at that forced smile. Notice how she won't quite look us in the eye?


She was fighting with her husband, Norris Neighbor, all the way over here. She feels we aren't refined enough to truly appreciate her Jell-O creations. Norris, by the way, is a detective in Barney Miller's precinct. And he knows Nancy's been cheating on him-- cheating with the guy who stocks the Jell-O down at the supermarket. They'll announce their divorce next week.

And it looks like Norris already has his eye on you.


Speaking of outfit-to-Jell-O coordination...


When serving Jell-O parfaits, it's absolutely critical to dress like one. It sets the tone, the atmosphere. Given the time period, having a party where people of different races intermingle was rather daring and forward-thinking of Jell-O. It tells us that whether you're black, white, purple or green, Jell-O is happiness and racial harmony... It brings us all together! And just to further emphasize the happy relations of people of all colors and creeds, the parfaits that match the hostess' dress are, yes, black and white. Subtle, eh?

The man pictured on the right doesn't look too happy, though, does he?

I think he's listened to laughing boy's jokes on the left just a few too many times and is trying to tune out.

"Please, let this party end soon... Please let this party end soon... So help me, I hate this guy."

Here, the Brady Bunch kids make Jell-O to sell and raise money for their parents' anniversary present...


But because Marcia and Bobby ate everything they made, the young Bradys ended up having to go on a variety show and sing instead. This is one of the outtakes.

Moving on-- Ahhh, nothing like Jell-O logs melting before an open fire!...

But what's happening here?...

As Sue and Steve flirt in their matching turtleneck sweaters, Kim is comforted only by the warmth of her sheepdog skin vest and yet another glass of Chianti.

Hey, Kim, it looks like you spilled some on the rug! Oh, no-- nevermind. That's just the pattern.


Ah, the wedding day! Doesn't the bride look beautiful? And what better to complement a happy occasion than a Nerf football readily handy on the buffet table, offering easy access for a post-ceremony pick-up game?

Wait-- my mistake-- that's actually Creamy Bleu Cheese Salad which uses Dream Whip Whipped Topping, Bleu Cheese, Cream Cheese and, of course, Lemon Jell-O. Mmm-mmm. This will be a feast that couple is destined never to forget!

Well, okay, I know SAID I wasn't going to share any recipes with you today, but I thought I might include just two...

Mrs. Lovett was very economical. What she didn't use in her meat pies went into her desserts. Black cherry Jell-O? Maybe... maybe not. Only she and Sweeney Todd know for sure.

And in the "Things You Never Thought Of" chapter, I must say, I have to agree with the Jell-O people...


I never would have thought of glazed hors d'oeuvres using dill, vinegar, cayenne, bayleaf and Lemon Jell-O over finger sandwiches...

And I hope to never think of it again, too.

Jell-O is groovy!

And so are you, for stopping by today!

• For those who missed Wednesday's post where we take a look at the magical architecture of Kennywood Park, click here.

• And take a trip with me to the Redwood Forest, the Black Hills, the Grand Canyon and more-- all through 1930s postcards by clicking here.

Hope you're having a terrific summer!

Whatever Happened to Baby Greens? or Strange Salads from 1940

"Salads have become increasingly popular in recent years, and with heightened popularity has come a greatly widened consideration of what makes a salad."

You can say THAT again, Sister! The salads we're going to be seeing today ain't your mamma's cole slaw, no-how.

These dishes are the Elton Johns of salads... The Liberace of Salads... The Cher of Salads. Bizarre! Outrageous! Time-consuming! And often shaped like barnyard animals! These are...

...500 Delicious Salads. Brought to us, it appears, by the Culinary Arts Institute's Marlene Dietrich look-alike...


Because nothing says "Home Cooking" like the presence of a severe, booze-swilling Austrian actress.

And setting the stage for Overly-Detailed Salad Extravagance is this first item in the book, "Spring Flowerpot Salads"...

You get the sense right away, that you're stepping into an alternate universe when decorative salads like these are set up as the standard for everyday eating. And then you read the caption:

These flowers that bloom in the spring, tra la, are the loveliest luncheon salads.

"Tra la"?

See it's the "tra la" that frightens. The "tra la" that doesn't so much convey lighthearted joy over salad-making as it does that the little wife has spent too much time inside the house forcing unnatural cheer during the Depression, and now some strange breezes are starting to blow through the windmills of her mind.

And as she becomes increasingly paranoid, why, even the SALADS HAVE EYES...


This salad reminds me of that Salvador Dali dream sequence in Hitchcock's Spellbound. The caption reads:

The brilliant color of the cranberry ring filled with shrimp and garnished with pineapple slices and cream cheese makes a real picture.

A picture? You mean one of those portraits where the subject's eyes look back and follow you all over the room? Do you not SEE the eyes, O Culinary Arts Institute People? Are you turning a blind eye to the EYES?

This is creeping me out. Let's move on to something a little more soothing. Like to a miniaturized version of the set from "Lost."

Once the passengers on flight 815 crash landed, they stayed for a healthy lunch of cream cheese, mayonnaise, unflavored gelatin and egg yolks.

The caption tells us:

This molded chicory crown will add new laurels to your reputation as a hostess.

Possibly so-- folks really are hooked on "Lost," aren't they? And next week you can serve a "Desparate Housewives" themed hotdog ring.

Speaking of desparate housewives, how about this salad?..



The caption reads:

Mold jellied salads in perky shapes for individual service instead of using large molds. When arranged on a bed of chicory with mayonnaise piled in the center, they'll keep the family coming back for more.

Oh, they're perky all right! If you put some Mardi Gras beads on the plate, it could be New Orleans during the parade.

Am I the only one who thinks Sigmund Freud would have had a field day with this dish?

But now we move onto the holidays. And what says Easter better than...


"Bunny Salads"?

And no, they are NOT mice. Or hamsters, or guinea pigs... They're bunnies. You can tell by the carrot on the plate next to them.

What-- guinea pigs and hamsters like carrots, too?

Well, nevermind. This is art.

And just what is this art that "will delight every youngster at the Easter party"?

Lime gelatin, cottage cheese, pear halves, pimiento cheese and paprika. Yes, indeed, what kid wants a cheeseburger and fries when he could have pimientos, curdled milk products and lime Jell-o?

I notice-- and there's no picture of it, I'm sorry-- the book also suggests a "Duck Salad" where ducks heads are made from peach halves, cottage cheese and mayo. Not a duck to be found in it! So our friend Daffy can breathe a little easier.

And lastly, I give you...

Turkey Salad! The first official turkey salad I've seen that's 100% turkey free!

It's made with pears, pecans, watercress, apple, pineapple, candied cherries, cream cheese French dressing and, of course, pimiento. And the caption confides:

Turkey gobbler, sea lion or pussy cat will be the result of your skill and imagination

.
And psychiatric evaluation will be the result of your salad ideas, dear Culinary Arts Insititute People. I mean, first of all, this doesn't really even LOOK very much like a turkey, does it? And then when you start trying to trot out things like kittens and SEA LIONS...

They're going to be packing your bags for the Institute for the Very, Very Nervous in two shakes of that pussycat's tail.

Well, that ends our journey into the wide world of 1940s salads.

If you enjoyed this post, you might also enjoy the past posts regarding vintage cookbooks:

• Artichoked Up over Befuddling Vintage Vittles-- Artichokes as candleholders? It can't be! Click here.

• Dubious Dinners and Riotous Retro Recipes-- Watch sausages do synchronized swimming! Click here.

• Horrors of Home Cooking: Recipes of Yesteryear- What can you do with Worchestershire sauce? Entirely too much for good sense, apparently. Click here.
  

And have a wonderful, pimiento-free week, my friends!

Artichoked Up Over Befuddling Vintage Vittles

Ah, Amy Vanderbilt: the Martha Stewart of yesteryear. But even Martha has her "off" days, right? (Cooking and crafting ones, I mean. Not ones that involve electronic ankle bracelets; this blog can only cover so much.)

What I'm trying to say is: not all creative ideas withstand the test of time... or, say, make it comfortably through the digestive process. And those are the recipes I hope you'll get some grins from today.

The first comes from the 1966 Amy Vanderbilt Success Program for Women cookbook, "Serving Food Attractively."


The book tells us, "Artichokes, halved, filled with jellied madrilene and topped with a slim slice of lemon are beautiful to look at and wonderful to eat." Merriam-Webster defines madrilene as "a consumme flavored with tomato." So basically, we're talking cold brothy-tomatoey jelly veg-nests here.

To look at this dish and its display-- complete with spoon-- reminds me a bit of the dinner scene in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. Only they used monkey heads instead of artichokes.

But what is it we have over here? The book tells us an important part of good eating is in the presentation. So what exactly adorns our table?


Why, artichoke candlestick holders, of course! Made from fresh artichokes. And over here on the wall-- what says Old World Charm more than a wrought-iron wall plaque adorned with... yes, that's right... MORE real artichokes?


Ah, dig deep into your refrigerators, my friends-- it could be a whole new world of decorating inspiration. Store salt in your squash, pepper in your pears, and hang shallots from your chandelier to give it that special je ne sais quois (translation, "Why the heck is THAT up there?).

Do you test spaghetti by tossing a strand against the wall? Leave it. Enough pots of pasta and soon, you'll have a unique, handcrafted sculpted art installation, envied by all your closest friends who also tap into the Food Pyramid for decor options.

And when you tire of it? The candlesticks and wall art of today might just be the main course of tomorrow. There's no END to the possibilities.

Or, you could just, you know, shell out five bucks for some thrifted candlesticks and some paintings. Either way, really.

Well, how about this?

Here we are in the Tower of London. Ah!-- aren't the Crown Jewels stunning? And--

Oops, my bad. That's lamb. But, wait, what's that bubbling up from inside that little roast volcano?


A little hard to tell from here. Let's read the caption, shall we?

"Try your favorite recipe for crown roast of lamb. Top it with a combination of sauerkraut, rice and honey..."

Sauerkraut, rice and honey? So... okay, cabbage and then...

"Brussels sprouts make a flowery center for a frill of golden yams, and the spectacular spumoni make this an exciting holiday dinner."

I'll say it'll be exciting! A holiday dinner of twenty people devouring heaping plates of cabbage and brussels sprouts? And we all know what Great-Uncles Ernest and Eugene were like at the family picnic after a couple of plates of baked beans. With great mounds of these gaseous greens, a Silent Night it's unlikely to be!

Well, let's move from the holiday table to more practical, everyday eating, with the Amy Vanderbilt Success Program For Women "Casserole Cookery" book. And this book truly understands the pain of the modern 60s homemaker:

"Does your husband groan when you mention you are going to have a casserole for dinner?... Between you and me, many a delectable casserole has been made from left-overs, but husbands usually have to be shielded from the information that left-overs are the prime ingredient..."

(The poor dear flowers. So sensitive.)

"...Casserole cooking should be creative and stimulating, both in an intellectual and gustatorial manner..."

That's right, folks. "Intellectual" and "stimulating." So with that, I give you:


Kraut and Frankfurter Tahitian-- "a flavorful combination of sauerkraut, pineapple, onion, green pepper and frankfurters."

Ah, Tahiti... the waves, the breeze, the outdoor stands where you can get a red-hot with kraut on it for just under a Pacific franc.

What, you'd heard Tahitian cuisine was based on the island's French and Polynesian heritage? No, no, no! That's just for TOURISTS. TRUE island cuisine reflects all the processed meat gusto of an Oktoberfest in Munich. Remember, this dish is "intellectual." So it knows about culture and context and all of that stuff the rest of us don't. Trust the cookbook. It's a lot smarter than we are.

As proven by the inclusion of this little guy...


This is the island god, Ozca Maia. He's protector of the processed meats and ensures the prosperity of the island's vast cabbage plantations. You use him to distract your husband from the fact he's eating leftovers by prompting a fresh and exciting dinnertime conversation.

Conversation like, "Honey, what is this wooden thing, and why does it look like it's yodeling?"

That's when you tell him that yodeling was a popular ancient Polynesian pasttime, vital to tribal morale and communication. In fact, Tahitian Idol, as they called it, was the island's most popular weekly evening event.

See, how much more this cookbook knows than we do?

Now that we're done with cultural exploration of the South Seas, we move on to our friends in the North. The Far North. With "Swedish Pancakes with Tuna."


Note the gelatinous mold in the background, which is a to-scale replica of Sweden's famous ice hotel...

Or possibly the end scene in Ghostbusters after Mr. Stay-Puft exploded over that art deco apartment building.


Well, ice hotel or achitecture coated in nuked Fluff , it's an elegant way to showcase your culinary talents and distract your guests from the pot o' cheesy fishy bed-rolls before them.

Finally, today we unveil a side dish...


"Red Cabbage with Marrons and Bacon." This is described as "a delicious combination of flavors and a good accompaniment to meat, especially pork." Because, of course, what goes better with pork than... more pork? These vintage cookbooks are about nothing if not variety.

That aside, in my own ignorance, (because as I'd said before, I'm not as intellectual as this cookbook), I had to look up what marrons are. Merriam-Webster defines marrons as "chestnuts, and especially Spanish chestnuts, preserved in vanilla-flavored syrup."

So, looking at the full ingredients here, we're talking cabbage, bacon, red wine, a quarter pound of butter, and then nuts preserved in vanilla-flavored syrup?

The nice thing about this dish is how it caters to the low-cal heart-health set.

And best of all, when you're reaching for your insulin and clutching your chest from the angina, you might not even think about how much this dish looks like a human rights organization example of how undetected landmines hurt millions every year.

In the mood to read additional posts on questionable recipes of the past? You might enjoy:

• "Dubious Dinner and Riotous Retro Recipes," where sausages swim in synchronized routines and vegetarian dishes may very well be man-eating... click here

• Or "The Horrors of Home Cooking: Recipes of Yesteryear" where Worchestershire sauce demonstrates its versatility as well as its ability to instill gastronimic fear. Click here for that one.

Or, if that's not your style-- click here to check out last "Treasure Box Wednesday: In the Pink with Pottery, Pyrex and Plates."

Otherwise, I hope to see you this coming Wednesday! (Hmmm... I'm hungry. Time to remove that vegetable wall display and have a nosh.)

Dubious Dinners and Riotous Retro Recipes

See these cheerful vintage cookbooks? Who would suspect that among their well-thumbed pages lurk frightening flavors and perplexing presentations?

Join me today as we take a culinary journey filled with wonder—and whipped milk—in Pet Milk’s “Thrifty Tempting Meals for 2 or 4 or 6” circa 1937, and Good Housekeeping’s “Egg and Cheese, Spaghetti and Rice”, 1958.

Once you see these eyebrow-raising edibles, I believe you’ll agree—it’s a huge credit to our mothers and grandmothers that good old-fashioned home-cooking still has the beloved reputation it does today.

We start with Pet Milk’s first dinner suggestion … “Sausage Cobbler.”


Yes, indeed, good hostesses know, no evening meal is complete without sausages ready to entertain the dinner guests in a synchronized swimming routine.

See the fried, sliced apples in the center? They’re playing the role of Esther Williams. At the end of their extravaganza, they rise from the depths of the pool on a rotating platform, perfectly dry and spurting sparklers.

Guests love a big finish.

And what exactly are they swimming IN? Why, it’s a combination of corn meal and Pet (brand) irradiated milk.

When Spiderman was exposed to radiation, he developed superpowers. But when milk is irradiated by ultra-violet rays, it is “enriched with the sunshine vitamin D.”

Causing it to be “twice as rich as ordinary milk”…

And also to have its own radio show.


Pet Milk recommends this dish be served with Creamed Brussels Sprouts. Thus ensuring those pesky dinner guests never drop by unannounced a second time.

Next we have what’s listed as a “thrifty dinner.” I was excited about this because, as you know, I’m all about the thrift. Er…


Is it my imagination, or do those pies appear to have a bad case of acne?

No, they’re Hamburger Pies and—surprise!— the crust you see there isn’t burnt, it’s the ground beef, molded conveniently into pie shape! That allows the meaty interior to be easily filled with Pet Milk and pimples-- er, sorry-- peas. Why, it’s meat, dairy and vegetables all in one! And it’s guaranteed to be easy on the digestive system because it doesn’t have any of those pesky seasonings to get in the way. Or to, you know, add flavor.

So what does Pet Milk offer for the vegetarian dinner guest?


This face-hugger, from the movie "Aliens."

Actually, it says it’s Breaded Parsnips and Savory Limas. The disembodied head of Pet Milk star Mary Lee Taylor tells us, “All the recipes in the Pet Milk cookbooks, and all I demonstrate on air, have been created and tested in the Pet Milk Experimental Kitchen.”


Well, see, that explains it. This is just something that escaped from the normally-locked part of the Pet Milk Experimental labs. Pet Milk had to cover up the incident by calling it breaded parsnips and limas.

I like in particular how you bread and fry the parsnips. Then fry the limas. Then fry bacon to put IN the limas. What could be more perfect for the health-conscious vegetarian lifestyle?

Next we move on to the “Egg and Cheese, Spaghetti and Rice” cookbook. And are you ever in for a treat! How do you feel about starting your day with…


Eggs Divan?

This looks less like a breakfast dish to me and more like something Captain Picard would discover in a lizard-people society. It causes us to ask that age-old question: are they hatching, or is that sauce?

Even the glass chicken on the table looks a little wary. Like it’s waiting for the right moment to make a break for it when those babies fully erupt.

Well, how about something for the seafood lovers out there? Here we have a shot of the Jersey shore after illegal corporate dumping and--


Oops!-- Sorry, wrong caption. This is Clams Inverness. We know this is a seafood dish by the cleverly chosen shell-shaped pasta, reflecting the intense natural beauty and culture of Northern Scotland. I don’t know about you, but canned clams and shaped macaroni always make me long for rolling fields of heather and bagpipes.

Well, if seafood isn’t your thing, then let’s go South of the Border! Here, we have a historic reenactment of a Mayan sacrifice and…


Again, my apologies. This is Speedy Spanish Rice. Not Mexican at all. And it takes full advantage of all the flavors Spanish cuisine has to offer… with canned tomato sauce… yellow mustard... and that perennial Espagne flavor favorite… MSG! More fun than the Running of the Bulls!

But what dinner would be complete without dessert?


This is Ellen’s Frozen Cream Cheese.

It involves cream cheese… sweetened condensed milk… heavy cream... sour cream... hair cream... feta... (okay, kidding about those last three)... vanilla and salt. Mm-mm! But please, don’t be threatened by the fruit. That’s just garnish. We don’t want it to, in any way, unbalance the fat content of this fine dinner-topper and…

Who’s Ellen you ask? Ellen’s the one who taste-tested this and died instantly of a shocking coronary arterial clog. The makers of the cookbook felt it only right to honor her memory through this delightful recipe.

She has been sorely missed.

Oh, and in case YOU’D missed my past post on vintage recipes, “100 Ways to Be Original in All Your Cooking” (every one of them involving Worcestershire Sauce!--- subtly courtesy of Lea & Perrins) click here.

Otherwise, I will see you all later, my friends! And thanks for stopping by!

Hmm… think I could use a spot of lunch about now. Clams Inverness, anyone?

Horrors of Home Cooking: Recipes of Yesteryear

As Halloween approaches, our minds turn toward symbols of the harvest.... Of falling leaves.... And of good old-fashioned home-cooking.

Many years ago, Lea & Perrins decided to contribute to those images of home and hearth, with a helpful recipe book entitled “100 Ways to Be Original in All Your Cooking”...

Original:

This means “adding Worcestershire sauce to everything including your Jell-O molds.”

Today, as my little tribute to humor writer James Lileks’ “Gallery of Regrettable Food,” we will take a trip into the past. Back to a time where “Original Dishes Men Like” (read: meat, meat and more meat) were sought and prepared with love and spring-form pans...

Where the secret to “gracious living and fine eating” was available in one simple bottle...

And when the culinary creations before eating, and during digestion, tend to look roughly the same.

Also because I found the cookbook at the Good Samaritan Thrift Store really cheap.

We begin here...

Lea & Perrins tells us Men like:

Stew in a fancy silver chafing dish! And what stew is it? Why “Company Stew”!

Maybe it’s just my anticipation of the upcoming film, but I’m getting a bit of a Sweeney Todd vibe here...

“Did the police ever find Betty’s missing boarder?”

“No, it’s quite a mystery. But speaking of Betty, did she give you a quart of her Company Stew? She’s so generous, she’s given some to half the neighborhood! You know, I served it to Bob and the kids last night, and it was simply divine! That boarder sure did miss out on a some gracious living and fine eating!...What, you found some spectacles in yours? How strange!”

The fine print tells us this is “a man’s meal everyone in the family will enjoy.” According to the cookbook, Men also like:

--Corned Beef Hash Surprise (the surprise being-- you guessed it!-- Worcestershire Sauce)...

--a Frankfurter and Baked Bean Crown (standing hotdogs on end in beans will make your husband feel like the King of His Castle)

--And Colonial Cheese, referred to as a “bitey cheese spread for a successful stag party”...

I don’t know... the picture above looks more like what happens after the stags devour pizza and a few too many Rob Roys. But hey-- to each his own.

And now...

I can see it now. “Mmmm, honey, Crusty Chicken Livers and Mushrooms on Toast! You sure are original!”

If chicken livers were a morning food, why haven’t the breakfast cereal people caught onto this?

Oh, forgive me... crusty chicken livers. And they’re crusty because we are to “roll livers in biscuit mix” and “fry livers until golden brown and crisp.” The theory, I suppose, being that if you coat them in something innocuous, you can even turn the largest organ of the chicken’s body into a “Gourmet dish for an elegant brunch.”

I can’t say I’ve ever heard of “elegance” involving toast. But then I don’t get to the really posh places.

And now we’re going to...

These are Flamenco Veal Chops. The caption reads, “Confetti colored sauce to brighten the bland taste of veal.”

I know I haven’t attended many parties lately, but this does not look like confetti to me. In fact, the only comparison to a party I can easily make is to the Prom Scene from “Carrie.”

I love how they have a little dish to the side with a ladle in it in case anyone wants extra sauce. Now who doesn’t appreciate an optimist?

---

Okay, here’s something I bet a number of you can identify with...

Your 16 year old son has barely uttered two words to you since he started high school. Your 14 year old daughter is going with that greaser who’s into all that Rock And Roll. And you want to create a dinner that will really bring the family together. So you grab your bottle of Lea & Perrins and...

...All aboard the Meat Loaf Train!

This had to be a sure-fire way for families to know Mom had cracked under the strain of society. Cute, yes. but the very fact that she spent time cutting asparagus into tiny bits so she could load up a Meat Car means she’s either had one too many PTA meetings, or has been hitting the cooking sherry in the pantry.

Pretty soon she’ll be saying she’s seen space ships and forming a replica of Devil’s Tower in the mashed potatoes. Yeah, it’s anachronistic. But still...

----

Now let’s..

This doesn’t appear to be enough to serve eight people, but maybe they’re properly taking into account the amount folks will want when they see it. In which case, this could feed crowds on almost Last Supper levels.

What IS it, you ask? “Curried King Crab with Sweet Sour Sauce.” And the caption reads, “Far East cuisine with a chutney-type relish to impress company, yet simple enough to allow you to be a relaxed hostess.”

Did you know the key to Far East cuisine is Worcestershire sauce from the UK? It’s a little-known fact that Marco Polo used Lea & Perrins as a part of his culinary exchange program; he brought pasta from China to Europe and traded them Worchestershire Sauce from England. The history books just somehow skip over that detail.

-----

Okay, get out that confetti again and put on the Lawrence Welk because it’s time to:

The items in the middle? They’re Filled Puffs.” The caption here reads, “Tiny bubble filled with ‘oh boy, what is it?’”

Sometimes additional commentary really is unnecessary.

------

And lastly let’s...

This is Pizza Plus. The Plus means only one person gets cheese on their slice of pizza. But the rest of the folks get a taste of everything including whole pearl onions. Italian Sausage slices and... er...

What is that series of exclamation points over on the left-hand side?

OH, it’s artistically-arranged ANCHOVIES! How silly of me not to recognize them right away.

All with a tomato-Worcestershire sauce. No oregano, basil or other traditional Italian seasonings are apparently necessary. (We are being “Original” after all, and Italian seasoning on pizza is just SO cliche,) The Worcestershire Sauce does all the work.

It’s suggested that this pizza be served “hot with tall cold drinks.” I suspect tee-totalers will be reaching for a beer when presented with this one.

“Marge, I didn’t know you drank!”

“Funny, I just took it up.”

Well, dear folks, that is the end of our culinary horrors for today. To continue the theme of humor and housekeeping, I also bring you my recipients of the “Make Me Smile” award. I was presented this by fellow-blogger Carrie at “Oak Rise Cottage”-- so kind of you, Carrie!-- and I thought it might be fun to share a few online venues that make ME smile as well.

Click here to visit the Make Me Smile page. Otherwise, I hope to see you next week!