Lunch and Brunch Unfit to Munch

Last week, Better Homes and Gardens helped us decorate our swingin' pads with eye-bleeding paisley, fluffy yarn centerpieces, and Robot Victorian style. This week those halcyons of the household take us into the kitchen to show us why breakfast is the most important meal of the day...

Largely, because it's what you should have before coming to one of their brunches or lunches...


Our journey begins here. You've heard of the Trojan Horse? Now meet the Trojan Chicken...


Inside this distracting blue glass hen lurks the dangers of eggs slathered in cream sauce. The egg whites lie in wait at the bottom, underneath the sauce, primed for their cue as second wave support, armed with pointy, pointy toast spears.

While the egg yolks have been sieved into a platoon of granular egg soldiers, ready to surge forth the moment the chicken's cracked open, and conquer the taste buds. They will fight your digestive juices all the way down.

Breakfast has never been so exciting!

Now-- what if you're a single person, without a smiling face to chat with over the breakfast table? No problem! You can create your own, with this "glamourous" eggs benedict.

Sure, it looks like ol' Benedict there is cross-eyed and suffering from some sort of eye infection. But you're single. And you're not getting any younger. You really shouldn't complain.

In fact, if you weren't so picky in the first place, you wouldn't be spending your life alone, would you? But no, you always have to find some little fault with your dates. It's always "This one has weeping eye sores. That one's a mortician and stinks of formaldehyde. This other one taxidermies chipmunks for fun."

It's always something with you. So just sit here with your new friend Benny and try to find something to talk about. No arguments.

But, if things really don't work out between you two, then maybe you'll enjoy this theme brunch instead. I call it the "Mayo Melee"...
Yes, indeed, from the mayoed egg salad to the halved and stuffed to-mayo-toes, you'll say it's a sure case where cholesterol is more!

Maybe you can even squeeze some mayo into those whipped desserts, what do you think? Imagine the surprise they'll get to find that whipped cream is actually packed with mayonnaisey fun!

Ah, but stand back-- I think this next dish is just about ready to blow...

You'd think the retin A would have cleared that up by now, wouldn't you? But, then, Mary had to keep touching it. And it just got bigger. And redder. And it sprouted cherry clusters.

Eventually, it grew into this-- ring around the rosy, bubonic plague style...

Don't you hate it when you start breaking out in tomato aspic? Because once you see those raised aspic bumps, you know the dripping potato salad is soon to follow.

Well, that about dishes up today's post! But I'm sure you'll want to all run off, make one of these mouth-watering creations and share it with the ones you love...

Or, y'know, family.

And don't forget to knit up a floral bouquet for your centerpiece!

• If you missed last Wednesday's Treasure Box post, full of thrifted goodies, click here.
• If you're wondering what the heck I'm talking abour regarding the yarn bouquet, click here.

And otherwise, I hope to see your smiling faces this Wednesday when I tell you about a very unexpected thrifted find!

Treasure Box Wednesday: The Colors of Fun

There's a lot of color in the Treasure Box this week, folks! And as August gives way to what may very well be a chilly fall, these warm, cheery colors seem to do a person good.

One of my favorite pieces of this week was a ruby carnival glass slipper made by the L.E. Smith Glass Company of Mount Pleasant, PA...
The company has been doing glass since the early 1900s, and continues the tradition today. This glass shoe has a newer mark. But I like it's antique styling. Because Mount Pleasant isn't far from where I live-- and where I bought this shoe, actually-- I tend to find quite a bit of it around. This was from the U.F.O. in Greensburg.

At the Goodwill thrift store, I got this handy-dandy pink, standing breakfast tray...

Someone had already embellished it with One Stroke flowers (nice job, whoever you may be!). And for $3 you really can't go wrong.

At another thrift store, I found this nifty two-tiered vintage bowl...

It's not jadite, though it may look it. It's just colored glass. But it was such a nice, vivid shade, I couldn't resist.

And lastly, as part of a half-off sale at the L&L Fleatique in Jeannette, I got this World War II souvenir pillow cover...

If you'd like to read the poem on it a bit closer, you can do so here...

And that's the whole spectrum of our Treasure Box this week.

• If you'd care to check out Sunday's post, on 1970s decorating, in "The Good, the Bad and the Funny," click here.

If not, well, perhaps I'll have something new to tickle your fancy this coming Sunday!

Decorating Ideas under $100: The Good, the Bad and the Funny

When you're totally low on the dough, man, how do you change the look of your pad? How do you bring grooviness and hep jive to your home base? How do you make your bathroom virtually crawl with pattern? Or turn your stately Victorian bath into an abode Mr. Roboto would envy?

This 1971 book I found at the Salvation Army Thrift Store-- "Home Decorating Ideas under $100" was designed to help...

And actually, there are plenty of good ideas between its pages. Update them from their early 70s styling, and they can be applied nicely for today. And I'll share with you a few of those items right now.

It's the Good ideas that then set us up for the, um, surprises later.

I mean, here, we have a perfectly normal, reasonably tranquil late 60s room...

The blue and green color combo was so popular at the time. But they combine it with a more neutral gold-beige background, so it doesn't get too overwhelming.

The focal point is a 60s blue-and-green graphic panel of fabric to bring the eye upward. There's a rather gratuitous glass dog on the hearth, but at least he seems happy. Everything seems spacious and well-balanced.

Yes, nothing suspicious here.

Then we have a kitchen, where colorful floral fabric has been used to create interest and update old cabinets.
The fabric here matches the drapes. But all-in-all, very clean and workable... Nothing eye-poppingly busy. You start to feel almost comfortable with the Better Homes and Gardens people, figuring they must know what they're doing to offer such smart, doable ideas.

And, well...

Okay, so the cabinets covered in cut-out tissue paper flowers above are a bit quirky. And who knows how well they'd hold up to use. But they're cheerful. And what do you expect for ideas under $100?

Okay-dokey, so we move on. To a clever way to display all that popular 70s milkglass...

The paisley background to the white cabinet sets off the interesting shapes of the milkglass dinner service, so it allows the items to be used decoratively when not actually on the dinner table.

This would really work well with any sort of pattern and color-scheme, and any sort of uniform glassware collection, too.

And look, this colorful centerpiece with...

Er, with...

Well, why is that white rabbit there?


Okay, we'll pay no attention to that random rabbit added into the scene for absolutely no discernible reason. And instead, we'll check out... Um...


Okay, I know I'm supposed to be paying attention to how they glued shells inexpensively to some board to create instant art. But my eyes keep going over to the disembodied head of the chick in the bonnet...

What kind of statement are you making when you combine shells with bonneted heads-and-torsos? Are you saying, "Look. I'm earthy and frugal! Also, I have strong negative feelings about the show Gunsmoke"? What would you call this style-- Seaside Pioneer? French Revolution Prairie?

(Shrug)

Then there's this bathroom, that I simply cannot get to scan properly. Why? Because I think the scanner is rebelling in the face of this much pattern in this small of a space...

"It's the wallpaper, with its colorful contemporary design, that makes the small guest powder room come alive. Add to this, a sculptured tin mirror frame, a row of theater lights above it, and unique containers of crystal, silver and bornze, and you have a completely individual retreat for guests."

The walls come alive, all right! And let's just hope none of your guests enjoy refreshments of the narcotic persuasion, or this bathroom might just cause a very bad scene.

"I'm freakin' out, man. The walls see everything and they're comin' for me."

I love how they don't just infest the bathroom with the crawly wall-paper either. They also get a gigantic mirror to reflect the other three walls of it, just in case you missed it when you came in.

Now that's decorating confidence!

But not so confident as this little robotic beauty. Yes, the hills really do have eyes!

"If you have an old-fashioned bathroom of Victorian vintage, flaunt it. The only cost involved in updating the one below was for paint, lumber for a shelf above the bathtub and a wooden theater light frame around the mirror. Use accessories to accent the color of the tub and the wall decorating."

If I had a Victorian clawfoot tub, I somehow don't think I would look at it and say to myself:

"Self, you know what this needs? An eight foot tall purple and orange rendering of the robot Gort looming down on me. Yes, nothing says nice, quiet bubble bath time as being watched loofahing by an acrylic invader from another planet."

Oh, Better Home and Gardens people, you were only setting us up with your clever ideas, weren't you, in order to stick it to us later with your budget Borg Invasion.

Ah well...

Yarn flower centerpiece, anyone?...

Why spend money on fresh flowers, when you could spend money on yarn to make these elegant pom-pom ones?...

Yes, yes, I know. I should have quit when I was ahead.

• If you missed last Sunday's post, about having to adjust even the best laid decorating plans, click here.

Otherwise, I hope to see you Wednesday with our next Treasure Box post. I am feeling a ton better, so a little thrifting was in order!

Hope you all have a happy week ahead of you, too. And with no robots trying to invade your bathtime.

Treasure Box Wednesday: Valuable Rest

Heya, folks... I'm still a bit sunk here with the flu. So I'm going to need to postpone this Treasure Box Wednesday until next week.

The only things that have been like treasure this week have been my pillow, a favorite blanket, and not moving very much. And I'm afraid that doesn't make for a very good post!

To better days ahead!

-Jenn

The Best Laid Plans

Ah, sometimes even the best planning will not prepare you for those little unexpected twists that make home renovation or decorating such a challenge.

Here at The Thrift Shop Romantic, I try not to show you just the fun side, where everything works out all hunky-dory on the first shot...

You guys have folks like Martha Stewart for that...

No, I like to share those failures of size, logistics or creativity, when a good idea goes amusingly awry.

For me most recently, it was in trying to sort out a tricky niche area in my living room. This five foot wide indentation in my wall beside the chimney breast has always been potentially useful space that taunted and teased...

First, it teased because the floor there has a broken Victorian wooden grate under it-- a place where a shoe decades early clearly mis-stepped and made a dramatic entrance. I could have a replacement grate made for it, but still, nothing can sit there. It simply waits for modern shoes willing to take that one wrong step to Gratetown, to complete the cycle.

Board it over, as I did, and you get an uneven surface. Which I've not-so-cleverly covered over with a decorative rug. It works, but it's not ideal.

Then comes what to store there. In my livingroom, what I really needed was DVD storage. For years, this area has been place where varying cabinets have come in and out, this one Too Wide, this one Too Cumbersome. And in true Goldilocks fashion, I thought recently I'd found the Just Right one I could actually bear...

They're styled like old library card catalogs, but were made specifically for DVD storage...

What look like individual little drawers are actually two large, separate doors which swing wide to hold over 250 DVDs. The finish is a walnut veneer. They even went to the trouble to make little dovetails on the inner doors, to carry on the old-fashioned feel.

And I measured... Oh, how I measured! I measured the niche area. I measured the cabinets. Together, two cabinets could stand side-by-side to create one long, perfect sideboard table. This area of the room would finally be complete!...

Or would it?

Oh, I hefted and spent time getting all the inner DVD shelves just to the perfect size. I organized and arranged. I lined up those cabinets together, centered them perfectly. It was beautiful. And then I went to open them up...

Um... NO.

That's right. While everything fit perfectly in one respect, having the cabinets butt-up together like that meant the doors, which swung outward halfway down the side of the cabinet, would not budge. They each needed space to butterfly outward.

My plan was hosed!

Yes, I've spent some time readjusting my vision. And I like my cabinets too much to send 'em back. Instead, my new veneered friends have been separated for a little elbow room and I'm trying to make it work.

So, just remember, when you buy that refrigerator that's six inches too tall to fit under your kitchen cabinets... Or you buy a mattress that's too darned wide to get up your stairs...

You're not alone. We all have those failures of logistics. The fun part's Plan B.

• If you happened to miss last Treasure Box Wednesday and have a moment, click here to check that out.

And me, I've got a bit of flu bug right now-- plenty of time to sit in my chair and stare at my cabinets over a cup of tea.

Take care, folks! See you Wednesday!

Treasure Box Wednesday: Of Flowers, Forgiveness and Field Trips

It's been a heckuva week for me, friends, and I ask that you please forgive me for a less-than-hearty post today. For the last week, I have had two writing projects for work taking my attention-- and both of them are, in some twist of fate, due at the same time!

This has meant long workdays, weekend work, and--(gasp)-- no thrifting! So while all work and no play makes Jenn a mildly grumpy girl, I don't want to leave you all empty-handed today. You all deserve better than that.

So in addition to these couple of snaps (and in one case, a snap-dragon!) of the flowers in my yard...


I thought you might also get a good Wednesday chuckle from these past tales on my humor blog.

• Showdown at Crazy Francois' Maison de Fier details what happens when a work friend of mine gets himself sucked into a jalapeno daredevil taste test in New Orleans' French Quarter. Will he survive? Will I have to call the fire department? Click here to check that one out.

• Office Pranks, Pens and the Shrinkwrap Trap is about my quest to be Queen of the Shrinkwrap machine at work, after a sly practical joke by my boss sets a dangerous (and hysterical) precedent. Click here for that one.

• Henry the Eighth Goes to Counseling is from the perspective of King Henry Tudor's therapist, Mrs. Harker, who's been trying to help Henry work through some of those intimacy issues of his-- you know, what with all the beheadings. If you were curious what I actually sound like, here's your chance to find out: I'd done it as a sound file. I won't win any awards for acting, but I hope you'll get a smile. Check that out here.
  

And that's all from me today, my buds! I'll be back on Sunday with the regular weekly post, as my life should have sorted itself out a bit better by then.

Take care of yourselves!

Goodness, Gracious, Great Balls o' Beef!

You know what I love so much about vintage cookbooks that are deeply devoted to a particular theme, like this week's 1960s "Great Ground-Beef Recipes" from Family Circle Magazine?

I love that what starts out as a terrific culinary journey— a helpful, comprehensive look at a highly versatile food— always takes the off-ramp to Weirdsville, as "creative ideas" incrementally transform into "what in the sweet name of Julia Child is that?"

And that's what we have this week, my friends...


A place where cabbage plays the Sundance Kid to ground beef's Butch Cassidy...

A land where black olives do death defying stunts and performance art...

And a place where dinner, and cleaning out the refrigerator, bear a striking resemblance.

I mean, sure, I could show you all happy, yummy meatloaves and juicy All-American burgers.

But because the recipes among these pages require witnesses, I'd much rather show you things like these "Golden Gate Saucy Burgers with Spaghetti and Rarebit toppings"...

"Teenagers find so many excuses for a party, and here's fare to please all," says the book.

Leftover spaghetti, pickle relish and rarebit cheese on a burger? I beg to differ, O Family Circle-- teenagers will be finding so many excuses to never eat at your house again.

Who came up with this dish? Was the mom of Shaggy from Scooby-Doo working in the 60s Family Circle culinary department?

This dinner is either a way to ensure your kid's first party is the last, ever, guaranteeing a school social life complete with ostracism, alienation and a vague garlic scent. Or it's a clever way to get rid of all those leftovers you didn't quite want to throw out...

"Pasta that hasn't quite turned yet? Block cheese that only molded on the edges? Don't toss it! Feed it to the teens in this festively frugal burger!"

Okay, they didn't write that. But they could have.

Oh... they could have.

I only mention this, because with this next burger, you might start to notice a recurring theme...

"Dig right in, for Hamburger Clubs! Includes everything to satisfy a hungry appetite. One bun half holds a juicy cheeseburger and onions, and the other, saucy beans and crisp bacon slices!"

Yes, you read that right: "saucy beans" on the burger... Saucy green beans...


The sauce, in case you were wondering, is soup! Now that's innovation: taking the soup, salad and veg courses and combining them all into one single entree!

Why waste time having to eat course after course? And why waste acreage on your dinner plates, and make more dishes for yourself? Now you can just layer it all onto one single burger-licious, bean-a-lovely dish!

I was waiting to see if they included a burger that also contained the post-dinner hot fudge sundae. But I guess that might be the second edition of Great Ground Beef Recipes.

It does really seem to need chocolate sauce.

Oh wait-- at least, I did find peanut butter!


Yet there are two other important things I learned from this cookbook. One is that cabbage and ground beef are an absolutely inseparable twosome. Like Laurel and Hardy... Abbott and Costello... Lucy and Ethel...

Or Hollywood celeb couples known by cutesy name consolidation, until they break up three months later and regain their individual identities.

I would recommend that the cabbage-meat couple above break up now. Now please. No one wants to see that. Avert your eyes, dear friends.

Also, I cannot explain to you why the ground beef center in this dish seems to be white. Yes, I am as scared by that as you are.

Let's move on to celebrate more wonders with cabbage...

I feel a little sorry for the meatballs in this "Skillet Dinner," actually. They look all confused and out of place, wondering how they managed to accidentally get lost in this vegetable class reunion...


And now we come to the second thing I learned from this cookbook. Not only are cabbage and ground beef tried-and-true performers, but black olives are Artistes!

I mean, just take a look at the zip, the verve, the creative energy they add to this plate of Cabbage Roll-Ups!...


Working with their friend the yellow pepper, olives levitate, they lift, they stand proudly on toothpicks and demand your attention! When you see them on a plate of noodles and cabbage wraps, you think, "Now this... this is class."

Or, sometimes, they put on their fancy plumed hats and do a Vegas showgirl routine!...


That little veg teepee on the left is a "dill pickle fan." But, really, how can it upstage our pert black olive beauties?...


Well, before we go today, I'd wanted to share one last tidbit of information with you from this book...


Heh, no, no... I'm not going to make the obvious joke here. But apparently we can learn that by taking slices of American cheese and arranging them into geometric designs, this is what truly turns a casserole from fine to, erm, fahbulous!

• Before you go, if you'd care to check out Wednesday's Treasure Box post, where we peruse some journals made out of recycled books, and check out the local farmer's market, click here.
  

And me, I'm going off to have myself a nice Sunday dinner, complete with cabbage, white beef, dancing olives in elaborate headdresses, topped with spaghetti and a nice peanut butter soup sauce.

Tasty!

Treasure Box Wednesday: Surprises of All Sizes

It was a week of niceties here at The Thrift Shop Romantic. Pleasant things that just make the days seem that much brighter, and I thought I'd share them with you.

The first was because of an extremely thoughtful reader, Serena. Having been a part of the Nancy Drew journal giveaway we did a few months ago, she came across these cute journals made out of recycled vintage books, and sent them along.


Regular readers undoubtedly see that New Joys of Jell-O cookbook about and chuckle. Because we did, indeed, explore its wiggling, jiggling wonders in a previous post!

Anyway, the interesting thing about these journals are they're a great example of how to make the most of a vintage item that's not rare or in pristine shape...


You may have read me here in the past ranting about irresponsible crafting, where folks take things that might be first editions or 100 years old ephemera and then dismantle them for the sake of crafting. And it was refreshing to see how this is the opposite of that.

I like, too, how the innards of the books have been used as divider pages for the journal. I'll serve you up just one of the pages here ( and you can be glad it's not that horror movie Jell-O mold in the bottom corner)...


Here's just a quick closeup on the Scuffy the Tugboat Golden Book that was used...


And how the illustrations, gently worn, make a pretty contrast to the journal pages...


Now I just need to find something worthy to write in here! Thank you again, Serena!

The other cheerful surprise of this week was the Farmer's Market I hit Tuesday night. These days, buying local produce just makes sense, and a market near work was one I'd always wanted to check out.

Yellow plums and fresh nectarines called me...


I picked a pint of plums that looked pretty perfectamundo, don't ya think?


And the nectarines will nosh nicely...


But little did I expect there'd be so many things other than produce there!

It was like a festival, really. There were fudge vendors and people selling ice cream. You could buy flowers or fresh baked bread or homemade candles. And then there were the booths of foods from around the world.

I picked a pack of Polish Pierogies and grabbed a bunch of Greek Grape Leaves, and made my way home...


...Wondering what goodies might await for next week. Too fun!

• If you missed Sunday's post on Vintage Lamp Addiction (what one funny reader has now legitimized for me into "VLA"), click here.

If not, maybe I'll see you Sunday. I'm off now for a nice fresh plum!