Sheep Tricks with Funny Knits

Sweaters. On a cold winter day, they warm us... Comfort us... And-- if the thrifted knitting instruction books we discuss today are any indication-- they can also make us look like giant psychedelic sheep in heat.

Join me today, as we examine the groovily 60s "Bernat Book of Irish Knits" and the awesomely 80s "Fashion Knitting."

...Because nothing says true sex appeal like being completely encased in a field of yarn livestock.

We'll start here, with the Rainbow Mills "Dolman Bomber Jacket"...

What exactly we're bombing with this jacket, I don't know-- one of Willy Wonka's cotton candy vats maybe...

If you thought the Augustus Gloop Chocolate Assault was a horror, imagine trying to get 100 gallons of spun pink sugar out of your fleecy outerwear.

Oh, and speaking of films, here we have the little-known prequel to Goldie Hawn's Overboard...

This was done when Goldie was still in Laugh-In, and her Overboard character Joanna was trying to get a sense of how good she might look in a yacht.

"Just hold this steering wheel up, darling, like we're traveling somewhere exotic and pretend you see something exciting off the starboard. Like a place we can stop for caviar."

Then we have these fine fellows. "Every detail is genuine, and every look is right," the book tells us...

So right, apparently, that they each wanted to try it on the same day. A bold move for their era, really-- coordinating matching outfits for themselves like this. And right down to the identical mock turtlenecks, too! I wonder what the folks down the pub think?...

Of course, in Knitland, you never know-- maybe no one will notice...

"Pssst, look at those lads wearing matching outfits, Siobhan. Who'd do a daft thing like that?"

"Um, well-- us, Meg?"

"Ah, right so... But... well... Let's laugh at 'em anyway. They look like big eejits."
Meanwhile, across the field...
"Pssst, Kate, all those people are wearing matching outfits over there, but even they're laughing at us. I know your mam made these hats for us, but I've had mine on for four hours now, and my forehead's starting to bleed. Can I not take it off?"

"Not yet, Sean, wait until mother's had a few more pints. Her observational skills won't be so keen then."

Clearly, the Mike Nesmith Monkees wool-hat look isn't quite suitable for everyone. Especially not, if you've just gotten a totally awesome homeperm, and you want a sweater to really show it off...

One just as soft... just as gravity-defying... just as frizzy as a pink-dyed poodle in a Miami Beach hurricane...

Yep, that's when you whip up this this Reynolds' Taboo sweater... As modeled by Art Garfunkel's long-lost daughter...
I bet Art was grateful for "A Hazy Shade of Winter" after seeing her sporting this colorful little number. Anything to block out that so-special "Yeti in a Punk Band" styling.

Well, that's all I have for you today, folks. I hope you'll join me again Wednesday when we take a peek at a couple of fun thrifted finds.

And I promise you-- there's absolutely no yarn involved. Stay warm!

13 comments:

Vonlipi said...

That warmed me right up with all the laughing! Good job!

Jenn Thorson said...

Vonlipi- At least laughter offers no regrets-- unlike a couple of those sweaters. :) Thanks for visiting!

RecycleCindy said...

Wow those are some very wild looking knitted sweaters and then lets talk about those models. It makes me think about making wearables in a whole new light. I think I'll go knit a bag for now!

Chris said...

Too funny!

Linda B said...

I had to really look at that perm. I thought it was a knitting project.

Ester Kiely said...

Some of these Aran sweater patterns are definitely in my mother's collection of knitting patterns I inherited. As a kid I always had a handknitted Aran cardigan and so this post brought me right back to my woolly childhood! Ah happy, scratchy days!

Jenn Thorson said...

Chris- Thanks for coming by!

Linda- Hair... wool hat... six of one, half dozen of the other... :)

Ester- They're beautiful patterns... but "happy scratchy days" DOES really sum-up the memories.

Cheryl said...

ahahahahahahaha! What a great way to begin a Tuesday morning!

Colleen said...

OMG! Your blog is delightful and a fun, fun read! I'm now a devoted TSR follower! I believe we're close in proximity (Weirton, WV). I'm new to the area (retired and moved here from Southern CA) and completely new to the thrill of thrifting! Looking forward to checking out some of your recommended thrift haunts and keeping up with your wonderfully entertaining adventures!!

Jenn Thorson said...

Cheryl- Happy to oblige! :)

Colleen- Aw, you made me feel like a million bucks there. Yes, Weirton's not terribly far from me. You might have some fun in Eastern Ohio, too, which isn't far from either of us. There are some great antique malls there.

Nathalie Thompson said...

OMG! I laughed so hard that I am still gasping for breath!

Thanks! I needed that!

grunge-queen said...

This is the funniest thing I've read in a loooong time; thanks so much for sharing your wit & insights. I'm going to come back to it when I need to cheer up!

You remind me of Wendy Shanker's funny critiques of 1970s Weight Watchers recipe pictures - have you ever seen those? Think you can find 'em at candyboots.com.

Jenn Thorson said...

Nathalie- Oh no, my readers are becoming oxygen-deprived. Remember, elevate your knees!... Or wait, is that for giving birth? Or an airplane crash?... Okay, nevermind.

Grunge-Queen- Oh, I haven't seen the Weight Watcher's recipe commentary.... though I can imagine it probably offers a lot of fodder for commentary. Thanks for the link.